post Adoption: a growing trend

November 22nd, 2007

Filed under: Behind Adoption — eresso @ 07:23

I am not worried about fostering. Rather, I am worried about the growing number of adoptions going on. Kids as a commodity. A status symbol. A quick fix of papers, selling children to the highest bidder. Are you a celebrity? Oh, you get the VIP treatment. Choose. Which one shall it be Sir, Madam? They are orphans after all, right? Better to have a full tummy than sleeping under sewage tunnels with an empty stomach. Hmm, what a choice!

Identity versus food security. Which one shall it be? I am happy that I do not have to make this choice. Do not blame it on me. I am just playing the mirror.

It is a trend brothers. Ethiopian orphans are being adopted all over the world. And some are given away by their parents who wish a better future for their offspring. Can you blame them? Who is to blame? I say lack of self respect. I say poverty. Fostering and adoption are also very common in Ethiopia, although not backed up with fancy legal papers. But, the major issue is, the growing epidemic, if you wish, that glorifies everything what the white man has and is. Oh “fe-rendj hager eko haede, tadillo. Ayaskenam?” Never heard such a statement? Come on, give me a break!

Some of them want to help us, sure thing. For instance, some take unimaginable sacrifice to raise an alien child like their own. Trust me on this, the borrowed parents have also plenty of social stigma to fight against.

The question is, are we not responsible for them? Is it not our society who orphaned them, rejected them–indifferent and blind? Are they not our children first before they are that of the white man? Do we help as much as we can? Are we really concerned beyond the usual empty lip service?

It touchs several aspects of life, in the poor and rich man’s world that is. Don’t you think? Africans can not take care of their children? By the way, does it work, I mean white parents raising black children? A mix is feared, confuses, and disturbs the natural order of things. White folks here and black lots there. When the mix happens, the white overshadows, is the benevolent, the munificent, the descendant of Abraham-white as stainless. The black receives; thankfulness is expected of him for he is the descendant of Ham and Canaan-the cursed. What an endless irony. Question it if you wish and can. Be ware though, you must have the stamina to challenge a biblical truth. I am not playing the role of a spoiler here.

Nevertheless, we shall differentiate brothers. Good and evil are evenly distributed among the children’s of Abraham and Ham. I am just reminding you of the depth of our dilemma. Face your damon and fight it. Be concerned. Start the change from your house. Teach your children self respect and responsibility. Help your next kin. If we help our children, they do not have to be adopted away from home. After all, we do not believe that we are cursed. Do we?



  1. I do agree that adoption is becoming a growing trend, like a fashion statement among the rich and famous. ” Oh, sos and so adopted a poor kid from Africa and got all the publicity, let me get my self one too.” yemeslal negeru. It kind of makes it look like they are doing it for their own benefits. Having said that, I don’t think there is any thing wrong with “the white man” adopting poor and orphaned kids. Yes, its best for the kids if they can be given the chance to grow up in their own country, culture, and among their own people. But the reality is, it is the lack of resources and the unfortunate cause that labeled these kids “poor and orphaned” making them good candidates to be adopted. The people who are giving them a better chance in life are doing good. Of course it is best if they can be spared from loosing their identity, if the society is able to help, except our own society is not in a position to do so or decline the help. Endegziabher fekad, we will get there if we work hard and star somewhere to help more than our kins. But we are not there yet. In the mean time , I say its good this kids are given a chance for a better nutrition, education and a brighter future. Who knows they may become one among the ones who will make a difference. Bicha lets hope and pray the adopted ones are the ones who comes back looking for their identity after they secure the food.

    Comment by Kokebe — 22. November 2007 @ 20:48

  2. If we just open our eyes to the very fact of our country’s infra structure we will soon come behind the source of our dilemma. Do we really need a multi millionaire to guaranty a few Birr daily nutrition cost of a child? If we think we are not yet that far to spend that much ourselves, it is about time that we change this point of view. If we had the right infra structure and less corrupt system we are definitely in the position of spending few Birr per kid a day. Those rich are not helping our kids. They are just polishing their boring image by carrying a black kid around like a puppy.

    Comment by Tsedei — 22. November 2007 @ 22:43

  3. Dear Eresso. Genuinely a great topic.

    Comment by Admassu — 22. November 2007 @ 23:40

  4. Kokeb and Tsedei,

    Thank you for sparing your precious time to comment on the issue I raised. I am well aware of the capabilities and limits of our society. My intention was to provoke thoughts, point a finger or two towards ourselves and face our picture in the mirror. We are number one, may be number two or three, in pointing our fingers unto others. We rarely catch ourselves exercising self critique; looking for the real cause of our society’s ills at home. Almost always, it is someone else who caused it and solves it too. No problem at this end with “the white man” adopting our unfortunate children. Really. I just hate the attitude that we were doomed to be at the receiving end. Eternally, it seems.

    Peace and I look forward to continue our debate discourse on other issues as well.

    Comment by eresso — 26. November 2007 @ 21:46

  5. My family is in the process of adopting a little boy from Ethiopia. I appreciate the views and comments I’ve read on this post…for the most part, but I think it is fair to explain that certainly not all families are adopting an Ethiopian child because it is trendy and a status symbol. In fact, the families I’ve come to know do not have any bend toward that reasoning at all, not a drop.

    **These posts were written a good while back and since then, even more of the precious kids who needed homes have been adopted. Therefore, I hope you will allow this submission.

    For our family, our desire to adopt a child from Ethiopia came when we met a family who had adopted a sib. group of four, two were teenagers. Soon after meeting them, the oldest girl in the sibling group became best friends with my daughter. This friendship has literally changed our family’s life and focus over the years we’ve known them.
    They are amazing an amazing family and are strong advocates for Ethiopian adoption! The kids love their country, they adored their parents, but they lost their dad and their daily existence became a struggle, and their mother was becoming more and more fragile from work and worry. We have shared in the grief and pain they feel, we’ve seen it. They hurt and our hearts nearly rip open because we love these kids and don’t want them to feel this…we care.

    What would the future look like for these kids if their adopted family had been selfish people and ignored God provoking them to open their hearts to adopt these kids?

    Since they have come to our community, at least three other families have began the process or have completed Ethiopian adoptions. One young lady who knows them recently decided to study medicine because she wants to go to Ethiopia to become a medical missionary.

    Getting to know them has brought beauty into the lives of many people who had never realized anything was even missing.

    I hope that brings joy to readers who are Ethiopian and wonder what we (ferenge) get out of adopting a child from their country…besides huge bills, post traumatic issues (loosing parents and other issues that are common) and weird questions by people who assume that a blended family means the parents must have been with different partners (who cares, but it does come up) we get the honor of knowing the beauty of Ethiopia and her people, and the honor of keeping that spirit alive each day in our homes.

    God’s ways are higher than our ways-that I know is true.



    These kids I know…they were hungry and school was not an option. They miss their home, their people and their culture (desperately)- but the difference they have made in the world around them is unimaginable…almost as if God put these kids and this particular family together Himself.

    Comment by Lainie — 30. May 2010 @ 00:49

  6. i think for people who cannot have children either becasue of age or because of health issues adoption is a good way to still have a family with kids!
    Adoptions ia beautiful thing if it leads to an ORPHAN getting a loving family and a couple getting to raise a child as their own who couldnt have done otherwise.

    In the case of 3rd world countries like ethiopia most orphans are older kids and most adoptive families want to addopt babies not older kids

    but babies are rarely orphans

    so the majority of orphans are cast to the way side while babies with parrents who are alive are being adopted

    with the money spend on an adoption for a child with a living mother the child itself and many others who are in poverty could live comfortably in ethiopia with their mother /father

    i think there are some really shady adoption agencys out there not all of them but some

    and the government of all countries involved have to check them and weed out the bad apples

    i think adoption is a beautiful thing
    if it helps a child who really is an orphan
    and peopel who cant have kids themselves

    but if someone wants to help poor kids then maybe tehy can help them by giving money to teh parrents so t6hat tehy can rasie their loved kidds themselves
    becasue many onyl give the kids ionto adoption becasue they cant provide for them which is guaranteed to bring a life of heartbreak

    much of the adoption of babies and toddlers is just childtrafficking
    the real parrents are often lied to and left in the dark about what they are agreeing to
    they dont knwo they will never see their kids again
    they think their kids are going on a student exchange

    watch this…

    dont get me wrong legitamate adoption is beautiful!!!
    but if children are sold and bought it is just childtrafficking!

    Comment by freindlyface — 2. June 2012 @ 12:21

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